Okay. So. First of all, rlly nice story =D I'm glad you got what you wanted. Now, to the point.. at first, I started to list every point where i thought you can change, but to be honest, and i mean no offense when i say this, but i think itll take me a very long time and a printed out version to mark it up so i think ill jjust give u a couple of tips. I hope they help.
- you dont exactly have any main idea going... only after reading the entire thing did i understand what "the battle" was and why you were anxious to get the results. you should clarify in the beginning what it is youre talking abt. a sentence like " Sixth grade had just started, and already I had begun to lose focus. My brain seemed to constantly drift towards other, more important things; like the upcoming custody battle between my parents over my brother and I."
-dont use the same word over and over again. try not to use it more than twice in one paragraph, it becomes repetitive, and a little annoying to read. An example: '<span>That battle was cemented in my head, all I could do was think about that battle.', I would change the second "battle" to "it"... you can do the same to other sentences, just look up synonyms and replce them, itll mean the same thing.
- Also, words like "socializing" might be too strong a word to use.... you can put 'talking' lol... its important to remember that you dont always have to use big words, and especially when youre writing a personal narrative, you should stick to ones you use on a day to day basis... save the big ones for formal essays :)
- the tenses seem to change throughout the story.... you start out correctly. in the past tense, and then u use a verb in the future tense, such as "will happen"
- don't add details you dont need or dont support the main idea... like the part about forgetting your brother. its just a side detail. or u can change how u introduce that detail. instead of the two or three sentences about forgetting him, u can just write " I was so anxious and excited to find out what the results were that i forgot to pick up my younger brother on my way back home from school, and ended up having to go all the way back to get him, prolonging the suspense."
If you want more specific details on where to change exactly what, i suggest you go to someone in person, they might be able to help you more. Best of luck! </span>
Answer:
The statement which summarizes the central idea of this passage is:
A. The yellow fever epidemic had lasting consequences for the city.
Explanation:
The passage begins by saying the number of people who died of the fever were in the thousands - 4 or 5. That number may very well have been bigger but it was difficult to keep count at that time. Then it moves on to say that <u>one thing was clear to all, independently on how accurate that number was: that things would never be the same. The epidemic would have lasting consequences, then. The losses, the fear, all of it was "too real and personal". It would forever change people's lives.</u>
Answer:
(b)
A dealer gains 16% by selling a mop for Rs 78,300. But, due to competition in the market, he decides to make a profit of only 10%. What is its new selling price?
Explanation:
(b)
A dealer gains 16% by selling a mop for Rs 78,300. But, due to competition in the market, he decides to make a profit of only 10%. What is its new selling price?
It means the "Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps", by the US Armed Forces.
