Okay. So. First of all, rlly nice story =D I'm glad you got what you wanted. Now, to the point.. at first, I started to list every point where i thought you can change, but to be honest, and i mean no offense when i say this, but i think itll take me a very long time and a printed out version to mark it up so i think ill jjust give u a couple of tips. I hope they help.
- you dont exactly have any main idea going... only after reading the entire thing did i understand what "the battle" was and why you were anxious to get the results. you should clarify in the beginning what it is youre talking abt. a sentence like " Sixth grade had just started, and already I had begun to lose focus. My brain seemed to constantly drift towards other, more important things; like the upcoming custody battle between my parents over my brother and I."
-dont use the same word over and over again. try not to use it more than twice in one paragraph, it becomes repetitive, and a little annoying to read. An example: '<span>That battle was cemented in my head, all I could do was think about that battle.', I would change the second "battle" to "it"... you can do the same to other sentences, just look up synonyms and replce them, itll mean the same thing.
- Also, words like "socializing" might be too strong a word to use.... you can put 'talking' lol... its important to remember that you dont always have to use big words, and especially when youre writing a personal narrative, you should stick to ones you use on a day to day basis... save the big ones for formal essays :)
- the tenses seem to change throughout the story.... you start out correctly. in the past tense, and then u use a verb in the future tense, such as "will happen"
- don't add details you dont need or dont support the main idea... like the part about forgetting your brother. its just a side detail. or u can change how u introduce that detail. instead of the two or three sentences about forgetting him, u can just write " I was so anxious and excited to find out what the results were that i forgot to pick up my younger brother on my way back home from school, and ended up having to go all the way back to get him, prolonging the suspense."
If you want more specific details on where to change exactly what, i suggest you go to someone in person, they might be able to help you more. Best of luck! </span>
<span>There are many advantages of written communication like its easy to preserve and keep the data of written communication for future reference or record as it cannot be easily manipulated in future, and that written data can also be used as a reference in future and could be easily verified.</span>
C or D because A/B just make it boring and confusing and E just pleases one person. D engages an audience more but C provides clear evidence. So I’m not sure C or D
I believe the correct answer is"B" but I'm not to sure, I hope this helps!
Im pretty sure he slapped him
