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malfutka [58]
3 years ago
15

SOMEONE PLEASEE HELPPP you need to explain why the claim support etc is wrong about this paragraph

English
1 answer:
Bogdan [553]3 years ago
8 0

The argument is ineffective and can be improved significantly. First of all, he writes the claim in the first person. A formal persuasive essay should be in the form of third person. The author can improve his support by using less opinions and back-up his thesis with facts and evidence and does not take a strong stance on the conclusion clincher. The author also does not efficiently connect his essay. There is no cohesion and his diction is weak. He can improve it by using stronger vocabulary.

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