First, you might want to take some of your spelling into account, (ou, cloths). And I think the main problem with this is that there are too many short sentences. Try making compound sentences using conjunctions. It’s technically grammatically correct, and if you were to write like that on the SAT, it still technically would be counted as correct, but it’s good to get into the habit of using conjunctions when writing.
Is second syllable on the 'e' an option?
