Question

When you are desperate and you have to ask whether or not this is a good, academic introduction for an essay regarding the history of Canadian welfare.
Welfare refers to all programs and services that have been implemented to improve the wellbeing of individuals. The main goal of these programs and services are to help people through difficult times until they can recover. As a result of welfare, the overall quality of life of Canadians have greatly improved from the last hundred years, although economic and social issues still do arise regarding its efficiency. The complexity and ideology of Canada’s current welfare system brings up the question of how these programs and services were created and developed throughout its history. Since the 1930’s, Canada’s welfare system has undergone several, significant changes that were shaped by both political and economic factors. These events have become the driving force of the structure of contemporary social welfare in Canada.

Answer 1

TBH this was rlly good. It seems pretty long, though, for an intro. Maybe you could try to split it. I think you could start a new paragraph from where you said, "Since the 1930's, Canadas welfare system has undergon several significant....."

Answer 2

Though a bit lengthy (which is absolutely fine!) you seem to go into some good detail while withholding main points for the rest of your paper and it is very well done!