1answer.
Ask question
Login Signup
Ask question
All categories
  • English
  • Mathematics
  • Social Studies
  • Business
  • History
  • Health
  • Geography
  • Biology
  • Physics
  • Chemistry
  • Computers and Technology
  • Arts
  • World Languages
  • Spanish
  • French
  • German
  • Advanced Placement (AP)
  • SAT
  • Medicine
  • Law
  • Engineering
Scrat [10]
3 years ago
12

I would love for someone to review my essay. It is on a very serious topic, it is from my point of view, and I want to know what

you think about the structure of the essay and what I should fix about it. Please don't hold back, I really want the constructive criticism.
Week 1
It was easy to go there. It was easy to open the package and patiently wait. What was hard was the reality of the situation. A wave of emotions started to go through me that neither my mind or body could comprehend. I had a million thoughts but I couldn’t keep track of all of them. I pictured what my future might look like, and it was anything but bright.
The summer was coming close to an end when my parents started to become distant. Or maybe I became distant with them. I could trust my dad but my mom was like something broken that was fixed only with duct tape. She would leave when she felt like it. She flew to Mexico without warning, took the car to San Francisco or Vegas, leaving me to walk my brother to the train every morning. She was never there for me when I needed her, especially now. I used the label on the box to figure out tampons because I didn’t have anybody to ask. Every moment in my life that I needed my mom I had to go to my dad. I wonder what might’ve been if she had been there for me, maybe I still wouldn’t be paying off the debts of my surgery. Maybe none of this would have ever happened.

Week 2
I went straight to my best friend the second I knew. She stared with fear at first, but then wrapped my in a hug and told me I was going to get through this. I had to tell my parents. I had to tell Daniel - yet I barely had the strength to admit it to myself. I shared two years with Daniel. Two year of happiness, two years of laughter, two year of comfort and warmth. I talked to him about his dad who abandoned him, and he talked about the absence of my mom. We were there for each other when our parents couldn’t be. I miss sneaking through the garage and listening to music as we sat on the beach and watched the sun go down. I told myself that I would tell him but deep down I knew that I would never be able to. It told my parents easily knowing that I would only see disappointment in their eyes and not sympathy. I now recognize that I found all of my happiness from Daniel and my best friend. I wonder what might’ve been if either one was still here to talk to me.

Week 3
I got the abortion on a Tuesday. I left the hospital on a Friday. I had one visit from my dad to give me money for food. Otherwise I sat alone in the bleach white room. The fluorescent light gave me a headache, and I became bored with the endless commercials of the hospital room’s television. When I left I had about a hundred text messages. I ignored half of them. I told Daniel that my phone had been broken and I told Lulu I needed some time to think.
We were to leave on Sunday, it was Saturday. I went to Daniel first, and we walked to the ledge and admired the cityscape and the quiet waves of the lake in front of us. The sky was dark but the highway buzzed with traffic, and the lights of the skyscrapers made everything look bright. We sat quietly as I rested my head on his shoulder. I felt like nothing had happened in his presence. Something about his strength and steadiness made me forget everything. I had failed to tell him about what happened, and still wonder if I should have today. I left after kissing him goodbye, and when he dropped me off I let a few tears come out when I turned my back. I found that I was angry at myself for letting this happen. I went back to my best friend to say one last goodbye. Nothing had hurt me more than leaving her, she was my partner in life and had helped me get through everything I’ve ever had trouble with. She sat on the train on the way to my house. We listened to music together as always and cried on the way home. As I walked away from her everything felt completely wrong. I was leaving everything that I knew, everything I’ve been through. I wanted to talk to my dad, I wanted to sit with him and have him tell me that everything was ok. But for the first time, he wasn’t there for me. I wonder what life would be like now - if I were happy. What might’ve been.
English
2 answers:
Alekssandra [29.7K]3 years ago
4 0
I think it's a great topic and very well done
Elden [556K]3 years ago
4 0
It is a very good essay, but in Week 2 I wasn't sure if you meant to put "it" when you mentioned your parents and their disappointment. For Week 3 I don't know if you were going to put where you were going and with who, it seemed vague. Other than that, it was a great essay, I hope you get a good grade!
You might be interested in
Can you tell me what are the metaphors in John Keats poem please​
Anettt [7]

Answer:Keats uses here two elaborated metaphors: one of the imagination as a charioteer who can fly into the heavens and "do strange deeds / Upon the clouds" (evidently a reference to the imagination's creative func tion), and one of poetry itself as being a planet of sound, rolling through the heavens.

4 0
2 years ago
Hi have you read ana Frank? well if you did i need your help... in act 1 sence 3
cricket20 [7]

Answer:

Scene 3 starts out with everyone anticipating Mr. Franks signal that everything is fine and that they can break the silence. They don't want to be found, of course. When everything is clear, everyone is relieved. Anne takes Peter's shoes and he chases after her, and ends up getting angry. Peter goes to his room and Anne leaves him alone. Anne talks about how after all day, she just want to move around and dance, and that "there's something wrong with that boy [Peter]." Anne's father dances with her.

Peter feels ashamed when his mother is teasing him about his "little girl-friend" (Anne). The conversation is shifted when Mr. Frank comments how Miep is running a little late. Then, everyone hears a car outside screech. Everyone stops what they're doing to listen. But they hear it driving away, and everyone is relieved. Anne comes out of Peter's room after feeding his cat, and is wearing his clothes. Everyone is amused seeing her, and seeing Peter so angry. Peter calls her Mrs. Quack Quack, trying to distract the others with this. Anne and Peter continue to pester for a while.

Mrs. Frank thinks that Anne has a fever, but decides she's all right. Mr. Van Daan come into the room. They discuss their school work. After Anne asks Mrs. Van Daan if she can try on her coat, they start talking about boys and Mr. Van Daan seems like he's heard all about these stories too many times. Anne and Mr. Van Daan get into a little argument when he's looking for his pipe. Anne accidentally spills milk on Mrs. Van Daan's special coat. Mrs. Van Daan is absolutely furious. The Franks have a conversation about how Anne should be more like her sister, Margot, who is always kind to the guests. Anne is angry with this idea.

Miep finally arrives and everyone gives her their list of things they need. Mr. Kraler arrives as well, which is a surprise to everyone. His visit is rare, but he is a very likable person. He come with some news, that another Jew, a dentist, is in trouble, and needs somewhere to hide. He asks them if he could stay with them.  They discuss where the new guest would sleep for the few days he is there. Dussel, the new guest, meets everyone. Mr. Kraler says that he helps them because he doesn't like the Nazis telling the Dutch what to with Jews. Anne tells Dussel that they are sharing a room since space is tight.

While Anne and Dussel are going to sleep, they talk a bit, and Dussel tells her that he will have to get used to having a room mate since he has no one. Anne tells him the protocols and schedule. Dussel tells her he gets along with children well, so she won't have to worry. They talk and get to know each other a little bit, and get along just fine.

The scene ends.

8 0
3 years ago
Words are the most basic tool of the writer, therefore, an author's word choice is worth analyzing.
Rama09 [41]

Answer:

The answer should be

a. True

4 0
2 years ago
Read 2 more answers
Please help me...
gavmur [86]
It's nearly perfect just change the "of" next to June to in
3 0
3 years ago
Read 2 more answers
The train and the car approached the crossing almost ______ and a terrible accident seemed unavoidable.
ehidna [41]

Answer:

simultaneously

Explanation:

6 0
2 years ago
Other questions:
  • Which statement best describes Gertrude’s development between Act I and Act IV?
    11·2 answers
  • What is a predicate adjictive
    10·1 answer
  • (1) My family has a quaint cottage at a small, private lake. (2) The cottage is about 75 years old, but we try to keep it in goo
    13·1 answer
  • If you are having a hard time stopping mosquitoes from biting you, you should try using oranges. Just rub orange peels directly
    9·1 answer
  • (Treasure Island) How does the novel's island setting affect its action? A. Because the island is surrounded by water, the chara
    9·1 answer
  • 2. In the text, the author emphasizes the negative effects of digital media. Do you think there are
    8·1 answer
  • What does this line from Shakespeare mean?<br><br> "Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;"
    6·1 answer
  • 2. Choose one sentence that supports your answer in part A.
    13·1 answer
  • Possessive noun of Marie Curie discovery ​
    7·1 answer
  • In order for your presentation to be successful, you will need to do what when developing your message?.
    7·1 answer
Add answer
Login
Not registered? Fast signup
Signup
Login Signup
Ask question!