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olchik [2.2K]
3 years ago
8

Any ideas for how I can improve this narrative? Word choice/grammar wise:e

English
1 answer:
kherson [118]3 years ago
3 0
Add more than an e/ show full text please...
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2 years ago
PLZZZ HELPPP!!!
almond37 [142]

Question #1:

In the short film, the girl is seen to start getting frantic when the elevator stopped and anxious which is why she pressed the elevator buttons to see if she could get to the floor faster and finally escape this "nightmare". in the story Martin describes his fear of being stuck in the elevator for hours and if they would would be able to get him out if he pressed a button and all went wrong when that happen, just being in their for hours was enough for him to want to not be in elevator at all. The similarities between the girl in the film and Martin was that in both scenes of the story and film, they were anxiously waiting to get out of the elevator, worried about the possibilities that may become reality. Some examples of this in the story are, "Perhaps it was the way the mechanism shuddered in a kind of exhaustion each time it left the floor, as though it might never reach the next one." Another example is, " His eyes fixed on the numbers over the door that blinked on and off haltingly, as if any moment they might simpliy give up." One last example is, "Sometimes he forced himself to look away from them, to the Emergency Stop button or the red Alarm button. What would happen if he pushed one of them❓Would a bell ring ❓ And if it did, how would they get him out ❓"

Question #2:

In the short film, the mysterious figure is seen to be starting at the lady as she elevator finally stops which is when the lady only felt fear and was desperate to escape, but in Martin's case, the fat lady on the elevator was only to be described my Martin to only be starting at him which filled him with a bunch of negative ideas of outcomes or schemes that the lady could be planning, just worrying overall about the woman in the elevators intentions. The situation that both protagonists were put in are similar because they were both worried about the intentions of the beings (mystrious figure/fat lady) in front of them. One example in the story is, "  She was still watching him. Here nose tilited up; there was a large space between her nostrils and her upper lip, giving her a piggish look. He looked away again, clenching his teeth, fighting the impulse to squeeze his eyes shut against her." Another example is, " She had to be crazy. Why else would she stare at him this way❓ What was she going to do next❓" One last example is, " He thought about her all day. Did she live in the building ❓He had never seen her before, and the building wasn't very big-only four apartments on each floor. It seemed likely that she didn't live there and had only been visiting sombody. But if she was only visiting somebody, why was she leaving the building at seven thirty in the morning❓"

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2 years ago
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