The second sentence is correctly edited. I hope this helps!
Alliteration is when two or more words have the same beginning sound. In the poem there are three examples:
1) Though...thy...thou
2) crest...craven
3) shorn...shaven
Alliteration gives the text a more unified rhythm, in a way I guess. It makes the piece sound more together.
Hope this helps!
Answer:
The first one uses commas correctly.
Hope this helps!
Mark me brainliest if I'm right :)
