Proctor hesitates to tell the court the truth, because this would hurt Abigail, expose her as a liar, and at this stage he still has feelings for her. He is also at war with himself when challenged by his wife Elizabeth to tell the court what Abigail told him earlier
In the book "Night", by Elie Wiesel, Wiesel is recounting his memory of the German version of the gulag as well as his experience later in Auschwitz's labor camp, the hardships he faced, and his loss of his family as well as his identity. At the end, we see that his experience changed how he thought and acted, and the event of his Dad's death haunted him throughout his life. (This is because he failed to save his dad.)
