1. Wake up happy. Optimism and pessimism are learned behavioral attitudes. One of the best ways to develop a positive self-image is to start early in life, or at least early on any given day. Wake up to your favorite music. Sing in the shower. Have breakfast with someone who is optimistic. Read an inspirational message first thing in the morning. Listen to a motivational tape on the way to work.
2. Use positive self-talk throughout the day. “Today is going to be a great day.” “Everything is going to work out.” “We’re going to make it.” “I’m going to close this deal.” “Next time I’ll do better.” “This is great.” “Tonight I’m going to sleep peacefully and deeply.”
3. Use encouraging, affirmative language when you talk to yourself or to others about yourself. Use uplifting and constructive adjectives and adverbs. Everything you say about yourself is being subconsciously recorded by others and, more important, by your own self-image. You and others believe exactly what you say about yourself.
4. Find something good in all your personal relationships and accentuate the blessings or lessons in even the most trying of circumstances.
5. Provide warmth, kindness, and friendship to others. These are the most yearned-for commodities in the world. Everyone wants recognition, attention, praise, and acceptance. We bristle at criticism and respond warmly to a compliment. We steer clear of people who make us feel uncomfortable. We gravitate toward those who make us feel good about ourselves. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want warmth, be warm. If you want recognition, praise others. If you want to be loved, love others. Cast your bread upon the waters and it will come back buttered.
6. Be empathetic. Learn how others feel and consider where they are coming from before criticizing or passing judgment. Even if you can't have feelings for everyone you meet, be certain that you feel with every living thing you encounter. It's the key to positive self-awareness.
7. Give of yourself. Spend time listening to and giving encouragement to someone else. Treat people like brothers and sisters. Provide value to someone through a kind act or gentle word. Make a contribution to someone or something for which there is no direct payoff. Share your talents with those around you.
8. Introduce yourself to a stranger who looks lost, confused, or alone. You will be viewed as a savior. When you are in a group and feel uncomfortable, rest assured that there are others in the group who feel the same way. Get a conversation going with someone else. People love to tell you about themselves. Everyone yearns to be included and accepted. The best way to get acceptance is to give it.
9. See problems as opportunities. Make a list of your most pressing problems. Write a one-sentence definition of the problem. Now rewrite the problem, only this time view it as an opportunity or exercise to challenge your creative ingenuity. View the situation as if you were advising your best friend.
10. Learn to stay relaxed and friendly no matter how much tension you’re under. Instead of griping, single out something or someone to praise. When tension or anxiety is present in a room, lower the pitch and tone of your voice, breathe slowly and deeply, sit back and relax your muscles, and respond calmly.
11. Think and talk well of your health. Cure what’s curable. Prevent what’s preventable. Enjoy the rest. In projecting your own health conditions to others, realize that your daily conversation is the automatic readout of your thoughts and emotions. Emphasize the positives.
12. Expect the best from others, too. Two of the keys of leadership are encouragement and praise. Vocalize, on a daily basis, your optimism and positive expectancy about your associates and family members. Emotions are contagious!
13. Associate with optimists and winners. The best way to stay positive is to surround yourself with upbeat people. Remain optimistic by associating with winners and optimists. You can be realistic and optimistic at the same time. Avoid people and situations where you become susceptible to the negative influences of others.
14. Read a biography each month of someone you admire. As you read, imagine yourself achieving the same accomplishments. Implement in your life the qualities you admire in those whom you read about.
15. Replace the word can’t with can in your daily conversation. The vast majority of challenges you encounter can be successfully handled.
16. Replace the word try with will in your daily vocabulary. Exhibit a new attitude of dwelling on things that you will do, rather than the things you plan to try. Replace “I have to” or “I should” with “I want to” or “I get to”.
17. Focus your attention and effort on achieving the objectives you are involved in right now. Focus on the present or the future, not the past. Learn from the past, but don’t live in it. Forget about past failures. Remember, you are what you think about most.