Question

I was born in 1992 in Chicago. I moved to New York City when I was 12. I published my first story in my school’s literary journal when I was a freshman. I am now the editor of the school newspaper. I want to study journalism when I am in college.
What would be the most effective way to revise this paragraph?

A. avoid beginning each sentence with the pronoun 
B. work with a group of peer reviewers
C. change the verb tenses
D. include a summary sentence at the end of the paragraph

Answer 1

Answer:

The most effective way to revise this paragraph is to avoid beginning each sentence with the pronoun I.

Explanation:

The way the sentences are presented in this paragraph does not have a connection at all, a good revision would be to add connectors and make the transition from one sentence to the next to create a homogenous idea from all, by using this word and perhaps paraphrasing some lines the writing will be better presented.

Answer 2

The correct answer should be A. avoid beginning each sentence with the pronoun

Writers should avoid beginning every sentence with a pronoun, especially I. Instead the person here writing should connect the sentences with conjunctions and then they would have a single I apply to many sentences. This is common, although starting with pronouns is not ungrammatical, it's just unpleasant.