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Fantom [35]
3 years ago
9

Write a Description based on the picture in the word document.

English
1 answer:
tangare [24]3 years ago
4 0
Based on the picture I can tell that they are at some type of American carnival
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Can somebody read over my essay and give me feed back??? I think Ive covered everything but I could be wrong. Its a literally an
Marina CMI [18]

Your opening paragraph needs more of an introduction instead of jumping right into the examples of Macbeth's insanity.

For example this sentence you have,

With the push of his wife and what the witches said, Macbeth falls deeper, and Macbeth loses the way to the right path, being guided down the wrong path by the hand of his wife, Lady Macbeth.

This sentence is too long and has a lot of unnecessary thoughts in it. Delete what is in in bold. Reconstruct the sentence so there isn't so much reiteration.

For example you could put,

Macbeth's fall from sanity is seen from the effect the words of the witches have on him and from the manipulative personality of his wife Lady Macbeth.

Try to eliminate all the reiterating sentences, then you won't need to add so much fluff and spend time explaining your sentences.

Try not to start every paragraph with In Act one, two, three etc. Summarize what happened in those acts and then if you need to quote evidence state which act you got it from.

Point out the main ideas and symbolism that the reader needs to know about other wise you will loose their attention.

Also try to swap some of the simple words you use with bigger words again this will help you not need to explain what you mean in your sentences.

In your concluding paragraph re-summarize the main points and ideas of the essay. In your case it would be short summarized main events that show Macbeth going insane. You can briefly mention the witches and his wife again. Then finish it off with what the reader should learn from what they read and what they can do with the information.

The material you have is good you just need to put them in the write sentence structures.

That's all I could think of to help you improve your essay. I hope this helps.

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