Question

PLEASE READ AND HELP ME WITH ANY MISTAKES I MADE IN MY ESSAY:

Answer 1

Very solid essay coming from a native speaker, you have very strong points and not to much information to not making boring. If anything I’ll probably say that you will need a stronger hook that catches the readers attention in a better way as well as describing one of you’re arts so you can give the reader a visual image of what’s going on in the passage, apart from that I give this a solid 8/10

Answer 2

This is your essay translated to English:

I have almost always had an interest in becoming an artist because my parents have a great influence on my goals. I grew up learning from my Mother about how to create figurative art and my Father taught me how to create abstract art. As I grew older, my parents began to focus on different careers that gave me many periods throughout my life where I would do art and then stop again. It was not until I felt anguish and pure happiness as I matured, I began to give my artistic life and so my works of art project how I feel inside.

Throughout my art, I am able to show my dreams to the world, in which I can not express with words. My paintings and drawings are mainly focused on giving light and satisfaction to things that you would not find so attractive. I like to paint and draw because I am able to create something with my hands that a camera can not replicate. I am currently working on my perquisites to obtain my baccalaureate diploma. After receiving my baccalaureate diploma, I plan to obtain a university degree in art history, as well as business classes to be able to sell my artwork and use technology in my business. Once I graduate from this program I will also like to apply with an established tattoo artist so I can earn a license for the tattoo.

I would like to visit and travel around the world, but the place that is most attractive to me is Oregon. I have always dreamed of moving to Oregon because since I was born, I have visited this beautiful state many times to visit my aunt. The weather is not always the best, but it keeps Oregon beautiful to attend many art festivals, explore many places of interest, and engage in interaction with wildlife. In my opinion, people are much more reclining and generally more friendly in Oregon. A very important moment in my life was when I met an amazing artist named Amy at an art festival. Amy has a great impact in motivating me to further improve my artistic ability. His conceptual art work is incredibly capable of taking you to a sense of physical change with nature. Since my encounter with Amy, I have begun to explore more in different techniques and style with art. It was a very special moment in my life because it really gave me a lot of courage to express my own thoughts and feelings.

I only see a few grammar mistakes and like the other person said a better hook would be great as well.