First off, congratulations - you are probably the first student ever on Brainly (I may be exaggerating) who actually did the legwork first before asking for help. It seems your parents did a great job (even though that includes cleaning your own room and house, as you mentioned).
Your writing is really good, including paying attention to cases, capitalization, correct prepositions, and style. I only have to suggestions:
(1)
<em>"Ich habe eine andere Schwester, aber sie ist ausgezogen." --> "Ich habe noch eine (or: eine zweite) Schwester, die aber schon weggezogen ist."</em>
The problem with "ausgezogen ist" is that it will read "is naked (disrobed)." You can say "ist aus dem Haus ausgezogen" and that will make it clear. However, "weggezogen" is most fitting ("moved away").
Another correction is also important: English "another" seems like "eine andere" but often we use "another" in the sense "one more." In that sense, German "eine andere" is not really fitting (as it means literally "some other"). Instead, you can use "eine zweite" (if it is a second one), or "noch eine" (one more). This is subtlety is worth remembering.
<em>"Wenn ich ausziehe" --> "Wenn ich einmal wegziehe" </em>
Similar reasoning as above. Adding adverb "einmal" (at some point), or, "eines Tages" (one day).
(2)
<em>"Ich passe auf den Haushalt die meiste Zeit auf." --> "Meistens, kümmere ich mich um den Haushalt"</em>
"Aufpassen" really means "to watch over something" while you want to use "sich kümmern" here.
Let me know if you have any questions, in the comments below.
