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Wittaler [7]
3 years ago
11

Hey all,

English
2 answers:
Flura [38]3 years ago
8 0

Answer: Not to make you mad or anything, I don't think you should add parts about what you think or what your experiences are.

Explanation:

sweet [91]3 years ago
5 0

<em>I am interested in expanding my horizons as a writer and being able to really inspire people with writing my own stories. </em>

  1. avoid words like "really" and "totally" when trying to give weight to a specific statement. Usually wording like that only works if there is proper tone, usually of voice, going along with it.
  2. I changed the order your points came in just because of their cause-effect relationship.

In pursuit of writing unique stories that inspire my audience, I hope to expand my horizons as a writer in the coming future.

<em>In my experiences, books and stories can take you on amazing adventures and inspire you in many ways. </em>

  1. the only issue with this sentence is your use of the word "experiences". Instead, in this case, "experiences" would simply become "experience" because you are only talking about your experience, not multiple people's experiences.
  2. I added on a reason for why this sentence holds meaning by saying that the idea of being able to inspire people seems very cool, basically.

In my experience, books and stories can take you on amazing adventures, often inspiring you in many ways, and I want to be able to become someone capable of the very same.

<em>For the past years, reading has been such a big part of my life and I want to create stories as great as or better than the ones that have been taking me through my childhood. </em>

  1. Very well done. Because I already stated why the experience of reading is so important to you, I will lighten how much stress is put onto that idea in this sentence. This just comes down to experience, and there are millions of ways to go about this type of edit.

Reading has been such a fundamental characteristic of my development as an individual that the idea of being able to write just as well, if not better, than those I look up to seems like an opportunity I do not want to let drift away.

<em>With writing, you can create your own world. You are the puppetmaster with the power of creation at your fingertips.</em>

  1. Amazing sentence. I have no edit to this one; it wraps up your overall opinion and restates your central claim very well. I will add on that, again, because of the ideas stated in this sentence, you want to be a writer.

With writing, you can create your own world. You are the puppetmaster with the power of creation at your fingertips, and I want to become someone who can hold the strings.

  • There are better writers than myself, but this is the final paragraph I would write if I was in your shoes. Hope this helped. :)

In pursuit of writing unique stories that inspire my audience, I hope to expand my horizons as a writer in the coming future. In my experience, books and stories can take you on amazing adventures, often inspiring you in many ways, and I want to be able to become someone capable of the very same. Reading has been such a fundamental characteristic of my development as an individual that the idea of being able to write just as well, if not better, than those I look up to seems like an opportunity I do not want to let drift away. With writing, you can create your own world. You are the puppetmaster with the power of creation at your fingertips, and I want to become someone who can hold the strings.

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This question is incomplete. I've found the complete question online. It is the following:

In this exercise, note what noun or pronoun in the second sentence either repeats or refers to a noun in the first sentence. Then turn the second sentence into an adjective clause beginning with who or whom and use it to modify the noun in the first sentence.

EXAMPLE: <u> Baxte</u>r had no plans for celebrating his 21st birthday.

<u>He</u> had a tall, muscular body and dark curly hair.

SOLUTION:   Baxter, who had a tall muscular body and dark curly hair, had no plans for celebrating his 21st birthday.

1.   So Baxter decided to let his best friend <u>Max</u> fix him up with a blind date.

     <u>Max</u> had a taste for long-legged, romantic women.

2.   <u>Max</u> spent a great deal of time calling 976 "party line" numbers.

     Bax had known <u>him</u> for 15 years.

3.   While talking on the line about a week before, Max had spoken with a young <u>woman</u>.

     He thought <u>she</u> would be the ideal date for Baxter.

4.   The <u>woman</u> said that she would be happy to meet <u>Baxter</u>.

     The <u>woman</u> referred to herself as Cinderella.

     The woman called <u>him</u> her Prince Charming.

5.   So Max arranged for <u>Bax</u> to meet Cinderella the following Wednesday.

     <u>Bax</u> was incredibly nervous.

6.   Max drove <u>Bax</u> to the meeting place, a local Denny's.

     Bax did not have a car.

7.   Max literally had to shove Bax into the restaurant.

     Three 75-year-old ladies roaming around the parking lot pinched Bax.

8.   Bax finally sat down on the yellow vinyl couch near the door.

     Bax had been twisting his burgundy bow tie for hours.

9.   Baxter grew impatient after watching nine single women walk in.

     The women caused his heart to palpitate.

10. Finally, his Cinderella wiggled through the door.

     <u>Cinderella</u> sent his senses roaring with her purple leather mini-dress.

Answer:

1.  So Baxter decided to let his best friend Max, who had a taste for long-legged, romantic women, fix him up with a blind date.

2.  Max, whom Bax had known for 15 years, spent a great deal of time calling 976 “party line” numbers.

 3.  While talking on the line about a week before, Max had spoken with a young woman, whom he thought would be the ideal date for Baxter.

4.  The woman, who referred to herself as Cinderella, said that she would be happy to meet Baxter, whom the woman called her Prince Charming.

5.  So Max arranged for Bax, who was incredibly nervous, to meet Cinderella the following Wednesday.

6.  Max drove Bax, who did not have a car, to the meeting place, a local Denny’s.

7.  Max literally had to shovel Bax, whom three 75-year-old ladies roaming around the parking lot pinched, into the restaurant.

8.  Bax, who had been twisting his burgundy bow tie for hours, sat down on the yellow vinyl couch near the door.

9.  Baxter grew impatient after watching nine single women, who caused his heart to palpitate, walk in.

10. Finally, his Cinderella, who sent his senses roaring with her purple leather mini-dress, wiggled through the door.

Explanation:

<u>A dependent adjective clause is a group of words containing a subject and a verb. It functions in a similar way to adjectives, offering further information about something that was mentioned in another sentence. Adjective clauses are often introduced by relative pronouns such as who, whom, which, or that.</u>

<u>Both "who" and "whom" can only be used to refer to people. But it is important to notice that "who" functions as a subject, while "whom" functions as the object of a verb or preposition. Let's take a look at two of the answers for comparison:</u>

1.  So Baxter decided to let his best friend Max, who had a taste for long-legged, romantic women, fix him up with a blind date. - "Who" refers to Max. Max had a taste for long-legged women. "Who" is the subject.

2.  Max, whom Bax had known for 15 years, spent a great deal of time calling 976 “party line” numbers.  - "Whom" refers to Max. But the subject is Bax. Bax had known Max for 15 years. "Whom" is the object.

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xxMikexx [17]
Your answer is B Hope this helps
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