Eliza tried humming it before she tried to sing the song.
Answer:
Add clear and logical transitions between ideas and replace words and phrases with other that are more concrete
Here, i fixed your grammar and changed some words. If you'd like, i can help you write it! Im working on a novel or two.
"Far, far away lay a small farm with all the animals you would expect, horses, cows, dogs, and cats. Little Mary Johnson and her brother were wandering around the old run-down house in which they lived. Mary was following her brother. They went to the old Oak tree, exactly where he had seen the beehive. The tiny hill overlooked the little graveyard in town. Mary was scared of the small patch of land by the old church. They reached the top of the hill where Mary could hear a soft humming noise from inside.
She saw the small beehive at the top of the tree. She knew why her brother brought her here at the top of the small hill. See, her brother's class was learning about honey bees, and for most of the summer break, he had been leading her to where he had found the small buzzing, bright yellow but pitch black striped insects."
