Question

Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. At first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. Then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that I felt cocooned from the outside world. When the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth. Which sentence will Fatima’s teacher most likely ask her to revise?

Answer 1

The sentence that Fatima's teacher is most likely to ask her to revise is the first one - Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter.
The tenses are all jumbled up, there is no consistency when it comes to the choice of tenses, and the determiner this before past winter should be changed.