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Svetach [21]
3 years ago
6

Would love some feedback

English
1 answer:
soldi70 [24.7K]3 years ago
3 0
<h2>Hello! ☻</h2><h3>I would give you an overall 9/10</h3>

I gave you that rating because some things could improve. Not bashing your work, but just adding in some friendly advise :)

  1. Transition Words

Just from viewing your writing and seeing how you have combined your ideas and information, your transition words stuck out like a sore thumb :/. In simplest terms, the transition words you used ('First of all...', 'Secondly...', 'Thirdly...', 'In conclusion...') came off just a little bit bland. Don't panic, this could be easily fixed! :) Just add a little "<em>spice" </em>to your transitions ('To start off...', 'in addition...', 'Nevertheless...'. 'To conclude my thoughts...').

   2. Elaboration

This wasn't <em>that </em>much of a big deal, but most certainly deserved to be up on this list. Everyone likes to read interesting books and writings that pop with entertainment, but no one prefers the long <em>"blah, blah, blah..." </em>books<em>. </em>In simplest terms, paraphrase what you have up there into more elaborate sentences. Along with that, take out any unnecessary sentences or phrases in the writing. Try not to run off of topic as well :)

  3. Heartfelt Topic

After reading this outstanding piece of word you have presented, I couldn't help but notice how heartfelt your topic was. Your reasoning for the ideas were presented beautifully in each relevant sentence. You put the perspective of your writing in a problematic and realistic way that would have readers understanding you, word by word. Absolutely beautiful and I admire you for that!<em> </em>

<h3>You did a great job on this writing! Just adjust a few things and it will be ready for publishing!☻</h3><h2>Be awesome and have a wonderful day!</h2>
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3 years ago
"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness." -Desmond Tutu
Gnesinka [82]

Answer:

The quote by Desmond Tutu about providing false hope is relevant to Elie's lie to Stein because it provided the support for Stein to not give up on living. This "lie" made him believe that he needed to survive the ordeal of the camp or anything so that he will see his family again.

After learning the truth about his family, Stein 'ceased to exist', meaning he died. The false hope was the only thing holding him alive and once the truth was known, he seemed to find no will to live with his family gone.

Explanation:

Elie Wiesel's memoir "Night" presents the first witness's accounts of the horrors of the Holocaust. This book contains and presents the true accounts of what life was like for Jews during the Nazi regime and the discrimination against the Jewish people.

While in the camp, Elie and his father met Stein, a relative. Elie lied to him that his (Stein) family are alright, despite not knowing anything about them. This blatant lie is what Desmond Tutu meant when he said <em>"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness."</em> In this sense, Elie's lie is just the sliver of hope that Stein needed in a depressing and unfortunate event such as being in the camp. If Stein was to know that his family's gone, then he could easily give up hope of trying to survive and meeting them again. But the "lie" of them still alive kept him going, giving him something to look forward to despite the condition.

But once the new arrivals came, Stein seemed to discover the truth about his family and then, he simply ceased to exist. This means that after learning of his family's condition, he may have given up the only last hope of living and thus, giving up his will to survive. Eventually, Stein died.  

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Hope this helped!

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