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Ksenya-84 [330]
4 years ago
10

Umm this Is actually my first time being here and I just want to feature my english out a bit You See I need to write a gothic o

pening And I have picked the settings but i don't know how to describe the atmosphere (basically and not creative enough) Can somebody write a detailed opening for me I made this story up It starts in street at night a drunk man passing by which he saw s voodoo doll so he bought it back home and as he took the doll everything terrible started to happen to him and then when he gave the doll to his daughter she started talking to herself until one night a there was a knock when the girl opened the door (their parents didn't because her dad goes to work and comes back late and her mother is divorced) there was a little box which had cookies inside it when she ate the cookie she started to turn into a doll and hrt whole dress was covered with blood and the floor The end can somebody make this story detailed please like describe e the atmosphere and structure it properly please
English
1 answer:
Molodets [167]4 years ago
7 0

Answer:

In the dark of the night, a figure staggers awkwardly, trying not to fall to the ground. The years and the bad streak hit hard John, who tries to hide his sporadic drunkenness after the divorce with his wife. Not everything was lost in his life, he still had his little daughter Mary, whom he loved and cared for with his life. However, there were days when he could not bear the absence and emptiness, so he went out only for a few drinks.

Later he left the bar, calculating the route, oblivious to the solitude of the streets and the intermittent fog. It was his first winter there and he noticed that they were very cold, due to the absence of buildings and the extensive forests. Soon the heat of the drink was not enough to warm his body, and he quickened his pace, almost running, to get home without getting sick. But on the way he stumbled, believing that he had come across a dead animal. John kick it curiously, seeing only a black object. When he takes it, with more blood alcohol than bravery, he notices that it was a doll. Dirty and ugly, but with buttons in her eyes that were hypnotic. Her dress was once pink, and she had a cookie as a drawing. He didn't think much about it when he took her home, he thought that if he cleaned it, it could be a nice gift for Mary. If there were voices that felt like echoes when he lay down on his bed, he confused them with the memory of her ex-wife.

From that day on, the doll was forgotten on the floor of his room, but John's life did not continue as usual. From one day to the next, matters at work were getting complicated. His boss was always in a bad mood, and his ex-wife asked him for more money. As his nerves increased, at night his dog would start barking loudly around the house, waking him up from the little sleep he could get through the day, never finding the reason for the animal's discomfort. All this stress caused him to justify the strange things he was seeing, like shadows when he was driving on the road or dead in his dreams. Sometimes, he thought he heard footsteps, but her daughter was never a sleepwalker, and neither was he, he felt crazy little by little.

One night when he was awakened again, he found the doll he had forgotten in the window. At first, he had been startled but believed it was a lost toy from his daughter. He took her to the laundry room and clean it, removing the dirt and its ugly color. He did not like to see her, so left her in her daughter's room, far from his reach, suspecting that it was the smell of the object that caused his migraines.

Mary was a happy and healthy girl, prone to loneliness and of few friends, so John was not worried when he found her talking to her dolls alone, it was normal at her age. The new doll had captured her daughter's attention and carried her everywhere. He spoke to her, hugged her, slept with her. Mary loved her, felt a connection that at times startled her with outbursts, where she threw all her toys in a corner or yelled at her dog for the increasingly intense barking, direct to her doll. She shut himself up with her and did not speak to anyone else, not even his father, who saw her less and less for his attention on his new problems and delusions. Mary didn't need her mother anymore, she had her doll, she didn't need anyone else. As a thank you, the doll had told her that he was going to give her a gift, for letting her into his life. It was going to be a night where her father would be full of exquisite work, and Mary looked forward to it, at the illusion of a new gift. He was so poor, that his dresses began to lose their happy color to turn gray, and his nails were filled with soil that could not be removed with a bath. All this was ignored by both the girl and the father.

KNOCK KNOCK. The day finally came, at midnight. Mary walked downstairs barefoot, not feeling the cold and suddenly hungry for curiosity. When he opened the door, a haze started to fade to reveal a small box. She opened it desperately, in the darkness of the room. Inside were chocolate chip cookies and a red ´´thank you´´ letter, which she couldn't understand because it was in another language. Before the voracious hunger that overwhelmed her, she ate the cookies, blind to the changes that occurred in her body with each bite. The shadows were approaching, and she suddenly realized that the red letters came from blood running down her her dress, and the smell of earth flooded her senses. Her eyes darkened and she cringed on the ground, uncontrolled of her movements.

Her dog found her minutes later, and buried her in the garden.

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