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DIA [1.3K]
4 years ago
9

WOULD SOMEONE MIND PROOFREADING MY ESSAY? THANK YOU.

English
1 answer:
Tom [10]4 years ago
5 0
<span>My suggestions are in bold.

"Even since the beginning of it all, America has never truly been one."
</span><span>Change even to ever.

</span><span>"While slavery does not any longer pertains to today’s society, the obstacle of ostracism is still prominent. All the time stories of racial police shootings are in the news. Ostracism, or exclusion, is another concerning problem facing the country."
<span>You introduced us to ostracism more than once. An introduction of an key point should not be repeated.</span><span>

"</span></span>All the time stories of racial police shootings are in the news."
It sounds awkward and seems grammatically incorrect. Revise this sentence.

"<span>The purpose many have in mind when they come to the country, freedom of religion results in thousands of different practices of religion with many different views and beliefs."
</span><span>Add a comma after "freedom of religion."

</span><span>"The people of America also have many different beliefs because of their plentiful diversity and backgrounds."
Plentiful is describing diversity. I'm not sure if this is correct or not, but, just to be safe, consider changing "plentiful diversity and backgrounds" to "variety of backgrounds."</span>
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Educate yourself and others about GBV. The first line of prevention is education.

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The first line of prevention is education. Educating yourself and your friends about what GBV is, how it happens and, how to prevent it are the first steps to ending GBV.

   

    /.)                                        (.\

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