The paragraph doesnt flow very well because of all the simple sentences. it has a very simple rythm and the most important ideas are "<span>As a young girl, she struggled a great deal. She left home at 21. She moved to the West Coast. There, she chose to educate herself. She chose studies over security. She lived in poverty for many years. She eventually got a job teaching at university." This is because it stays on topic. Everything else really isnt important.The ideas are all spread out and really dont connect very well. TO improve this paragraph you need to connect the sentenes and change some to stay on topic.</span>
