Question

The school treasury at Midway High, as a result of several successful fundraisers, has increased, even though it is below the amount needed to buy furniture for the student lounge.
Which is the most effective revision of this sentence?

Answer 1

Answer:

As a result of several successful fundraisers, the school treasury at Midway High has increased, yet it is still below the amount needed to buy furniture for the student lounge.

Explanation:

The options you were given are the following:

• As a result of the school treasury at Midway High increasing because of several successful fundraisers, it is still below the amount needed to buy furniture for the student lounge.
• As a result of several successful fundraisers, the school treasury at Midway High is below the amount needed to buy furniture for the student lounge.
• As a result of being below the amount needed to buy furniture for the student lounge, several successful fundraisers has increased the school treasury at Midway High.
• As a result of several successful fundraisers, the school treasury at Midway High has increased, yet it is still below the amount needed to buy furniture for the student lounge.

When revising the given sentence, we need to be careful about the cause-effect relationship shown in it. The fundraisers are the reason why the school treasury increased. Despite that, there is not enough money for the furniture. The last version of the original sentence is the only one that has that exact meaning.

The first and the second one versions are incorrect because it seems as if the treasury increasing and the fundraisers are why there is not enough money. The third is also incorrect, because it turns out that the lack of money is why the fundraisers have increased the school treasury.

This leaves us with the last option as the only one that makes sense.