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gizmo_the_mogwai [7]
3 years ago
12

HELP!!!

English
1 answer:
Tom [10]3 years ago
3 0
Try putting more paint on the canvas
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!!!This is argumentative essay. What do I need to change to make it better? Answer plz!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!83 points will be offere
S_A_V [24]

Answer:

I think that this can be combined into one paragraph:

"Even if technology can help developing countries, it won't be easy. First of all, most developing countries do not have power, and a lot of people don't bother going to school. These two things will make it harder because if there is no power how will the technology be used and if people don't really study then it won't aid that country at all.

Despite the problems that technology will cause, there are solutions. The developed countries can give money towards constructing power lines in developing countries. Technology will encourage the people of developing countries to try to get and education, and this will cause more people to be educated."

Since your essay is in support of helping developing countries, you want to try to limit the amount of counterarguments that support the other side, because that may lead your reader to question their stance, so maybe delete this paragraph:

"But even if that does happen, there will still be some problems in the way. In developing countries, some teachers don't know how to use technology in the correct way. Also some countries rarely have any schools, meaning that the developed countries will need to construct schools."

Your last paragraph is a great conclusion, the only thing I would say is to try to paraphrase your reasons and add them so your reader can be reminded why they should agree with you.

Other than that, this is a well-written essay, nice work!

4 0
3 years ago
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