This is out of topic, but can someone please read my short essay and tell me what you think. I have no one to go to ask for help
. (It's for collage) The More You Say Have you ever used or heard of a site called Ebay? Ebay is a site where countless items can be sold. A man by the name of John D. Freyer sold his items on Ebay, he gave a description so subjective and personal that it was attention-grabbing to buyers because of the memorable backstories provided. While conducting research and comparing Freyer's items with other items on Ebay I found some immense differences. The differences were composed of the description provided which played a big part in each element. After reading the "All My Life for Sale" story, it had surprised me because I would have never thought about giving a subjective description to an everyday item to sell anywhere which makes this story interesting. Out of the various items sold one of Freyer's objects was listed as "Two Polaroid Photographs Tag # 000143", included in his description of the items was a descriptive back story of each photo. While comparing his Polaroid Photos with others on the Ebay website the difference was vast as the other gave an objective description and was more straight to the point and his was subjective, but the visuals were both the same. Another one of the items he sold was listed as "My Last of 2 Turntables tag # 000030", in the description he gave was the history of how he got it and his experiences with it. In comparing his description with the other piece from Ebay again Freyer's was more subjective as the other just gave a brief description making it objective, yet the visuals were the same. Unusually Freyer then went on to sell an uncommon product listed as "Taco Shells tag # 000934", which then again gave a meaningful background story behind it. While trying to compare this item with other items on Ebay, there was a situation. No one else is selling Taco Shells, yet Freyer's description is still subjective. Description takes part as a prime role because with just a photo we wouldn't know much about the product and a picture wouldn't do much either. Would you buy these items over others given the descriptions? Appointed these objects out of the many he sold, Freyer told a significant story with each item. A subjective description would make me want to buy any item the most because to me, in this situation his stories makes his items much more valuable given the history of it. Each picture given for the same items were similar yet the description was the difference. Telling more about something can help you understand and connect with something, which he did with his items.
The essay definitely looks dedicated and there are some big words here and there. However, the only person that would read that whole essay would be a person with too much time on their hands. I guess that being a teacher...So I suggest you ask your teacher instead about what you should improve on in ur college essay rather than asking people on Brainly.com