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e-lub [12.9K]
4 years ago
8

Guys can u please fix my essay and redo anything that can make it better?

English
2 answers:
saul85 [17]4 years ago
6 0

As Proserpina gets bored she asked her mother if she could go out and explore see what this area is like and meet new people the basic stuff. Her mother said yes with one acceptation, only if Proserpina stays near the sea nymphs, and he mother advised her not to go wandering around. Proserpina kept in mind what her mother had told her, but as she was walking she noticed in the fields that there were these beautiful flowers, she was so tempted and couldn't help herself.


When Proserpina was picking out her flowers for her mother in an area where she wasn’t supposed to be in as her mother advised her not to go to the fields. She started to hear footsteps as she was picking her last flower and getting ready to head back, she saw a man, but this wasn’t any man it was king Pluto but of course, she had no idea. Proserpina didn’t think nothing of it so she kept walking asking Pluto kept following her she turned around but before she could ask him what he wanted he grabbed her face and throw her on his horse. She kept yelling on the whole ride “who are you? where are u taking me?”. The king didn’t say anything until they arrived, where are you taking me why did u kidnap me Proserpina kept repeating over and over again until the king snapped, STOP WITH THE QUESTIONS, sorry I have a short temper her stated, but you are here to be my maid. He told her how he she will be working for him.


Proserpina can’t live with the fact that she will be his maid she had better dreams for herself, all she could think about was her mother and how she would be going crazy due to her being gone. Meanwhile, the king was getting ready to go to bed, but Proserpina hasn’t even flinched she has been trying to find a way to escape and the castle is huge she could get last so she would have to wait for the king to go out so she can escape in peace. But today before the king went to bed they talked, and Proserpina felt bad for the king because he has no one. So, although she would love to be gone as soon as she can she still feels bad, but she also knows she has to go back to her mother.


As the sun shined through Proserpina’s window, she had realized it is daytime she hasn’t even slept she had been p all night planning her great escape and making plan A Plan B just in case plan A doesn’t work. She couldn’t lay her head for one sec, she kept reliving the moment her mom had told her not to go to that area she felt as the longer she stays in that castle she will lose her mind. The king was going to go out to do some thing’s as he stated to Proserpina last night so when he had woken up and started getting ready she got excited she thought to herself maybe after all my plan A will work.


Proserpina starts getting ready to make a run for it ad the king had just left. She going to the front door and see’s if it open and of course it wasn’t but she had seen a back door last night as she was going to her room. So, she runs to it hoping she won’t get lost, as she approaches the door she hears king Pluto coming back so she just takes a leap of faith and goes for it. *king Pluto walking into his home* “Proserpina oh Proserpina where can u be where is my lunch my worker “he gets no answer what so ever. He yells for his guards to come inside, “look for the worker in every room NOW!” meanwhile Proserpina is almost back home and out of breath. She runs inside and her mom just is overwhelmed but the happy kind. She tells her mom where she was this whole time and apologized her mom said, “there is no time for that now we have to go to him because if we don’t he will do the same thing over again”. As they were making their way back to he mother was filled with rage. * Finally, they have arrived* “oh dear my worker where have you been I’ve been worried sick about you”. Her mother says ’s “you’ve been worried sick what about me how do u think I felt when I didn’t know where she was you KIDNAPPED her but it ok because I am going to curse you”. In the end, they made a negation that he will never kidnap anyone else if she doesn’t curse him.


Vikentia [17]4 years ago
3 0
The story is great but u made some mistakes with spelling and u need to reread the story and need more details in the story and at the end but great draft
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