The two parts of the excerpt that shows the central character is devoutly religious and God-fearing are:
"The man therefore read it, and looking upon Evangelist very carefully, said, Whither must I fly?" This shows that the central character is willing to go the path that Evangelist advises him to, it's something that he feels he wants and must do.
"Then said Evangelist, 'Keep that light in your eye, and go up directly thereto: so shalt thou see the gate; at which, when thou knockest, it shall be told thee what thou shalt do.'" This shows that the central character is willing to follow Evangelist's instruction because of both the character's name and where he is saying he should head.
I'm guessing your asking for a grammar check? If so then...
After the children left the school bus, they dropped their bags on the front proches of their houses. The children yelled "Hello!" to their mothers and fathers and ran towards the playground to play tag with each other.
