A personal narrative is a story from your perspective
Answer: The tone is too casual.
Explanation: The person’s cover letter is too casual, the person makes it sounds like he or she is talking to a friend.
To begin a "creepy" story, first begin by using the literary device of "introduction, rising action. climax, tie-up, and the ending" With all the action in the book leading up to the most exciting part, or the climax.