Question

I am writing an essay about my career and I need help with perfecting my introduction. “The career I chose to present this year was photography. As most people know photographers are professionals that focus on the art of photography with a digital or film camera. Photographers use artificial or natural lighting to snap pictures of various people, places and things in different settings.” Please help (hearting all)

Answer 1

Okay girl, first of all it’s super cool you’re into photography. Secondly, you you that word too much in this short amount of text . Try substituting the word “photography” and “photographers” with something else so it doesn’t sound as repetitive.

Now, for the grammar. In the first sentence, replace “was” with “is” because the past/present tense of the sentence doesn’t currently match. You chose this topic to talk about now, and saying “was” makes it sound like you wrote this essay a long time ago. In the second sentence, add a comma after “know” to break up the sentence a little bit. Adding pauses creates a better understanding for the reader because it gives them a chance to stop and think about what they’re reading. Other than that I think you’re good bud.

If my answer helped I’d appreciate it if you gave me “brainliest answer” :-)

Answer 2

Replace was with is besides that I see everything else if fine