Answer:
Avoiding Saying "NO" and "Don't"
When you tell a kid what s/he shouldn't be doing ("No yelling.", "Don't run."), you fail to give the student direction in what s/he OUGHT to be doing. There are a number of drawbacks to using these negatives:
1. It doesn't tell kids what behavior you want to see. Therefore, it won't happen.
2. Even if the youngster can tell you what s/he should be doing, has s/he displayed the behavior on a regular basis? Being able to describe the behavior verbally is much different from possessing the behavior in one's repertoire and being able to use it at the correct moment.
IF YOU WANT TO A STUDENT TO DISPLAY A BEHAVIOR, TEACH IT TO HIM/HER. BEHAVIOR IS LIKE ACADEMIC MATERIAL...KIDS LEARN IT BY BEING TAUGHT. IF THEY'VE NEVER BEEN TAUGHT, THEY DON'T KNOW IT YET.
3. Kids hear the action word in your statement. Telling a kid "Don't run." will guarantee that s/he and all other kids with him/her will immediate break into a run.
4. Parents and teachers often use the behavior they tell a kid to stop: "STOP YELLING!!", "No hitting!" (as the adult hits the child). Expect the wrong message to be heard by the youngster. Yelling at kids CREATES yellers. Hitting kids teaches them to hit weaker others.
DESCRIBE THE PROBLEM
Mention the problem that needs to be addressed without assigning blame or mentioning the student's role in the situation. We all make mistakes. Describing the problem is more advanced than the "Giving information" strategy. The child has no provided knowledge to use. It requires a higher level of thought from the youngster. S/he has to figure out how to resolve the identified problem. Give your kids a chance to learn from experiences. Non-emotionally and non-judgmentally lead kids to proper actions by pointing out the problem that has developed. Give hints and cues if necessary to help him/her through the thought process (even when you want to SCREAM!). (Gee, I'm lecturing now...Maybe I should have used a short statement here.)
EXAMPLES:
"Yuen Shing, the paint spilled. What needs to be done now?" (If he fails to react, you might give cues like "We have paper towels over the sink." Notice that you didn't tell him what to do with the towels. You merely hinted that they were somehow involved in the solution of the problem.)
"Ralph, the hamster is sucking at an empty bottle."
It's near dismissal and the books aren't in their place."
"Folks, lots of papers and items are strewn around the room. We need order, and I'd appreciate your help."
"The room is messy. I expect it to be different in 30 seconds."
"I hear answers, but I don't see hands."
"Keisha, the plant soil spilled onto the window sill."
