Question

Hi! So I wrote an article for my journalism class I just need someone to proof read it and organize my paragraphs into the Inverted Pyramid Structure. Thank You!!!
I learned that finding what makes a lead successful and what doesn't is very hard to accomplish.
For example, when writing about a murder the reporter might have multiple witnesses. Which then, would make it difficult to find the most valuable piece of information from all those people. Also, while doing the news programs the reporters would put a screen showing or saying "If you have any questions, tips, or comments contact the police at 1-888-888-tips, etc..." And this can help some cases because people have the choice for others not to know who they are.
But on the other hand, if a reporter were to use the internet it would be easier. Such as, if there were no way to personally see the witness etc... they could always reach out to friends and relatives online. But, one wrong thing that may happen is contacting the wrong person about the wrong thing.
Therefore, when finding what doesn't is very difficult because all of them might have a valuable piece of information and you have to decide which one is better.

I know this is bad! XD

Answer 1

Answer:

I like your transitions but make sure to indent your paragraphs!

Explanation:

Also don't use personal pronouns like "I,me,you,us"