Hello!
I don't find the paragraph to be too wordy at all. I don't understand the entire context of the paragraph, only because I don't know the topic that it is written on. Despite this, I was still able to follow the meaning of the paragraph.
Something that I did notice is that you have one run-on sentence in your paragraph. You wrote "The only thing they solved was why Hope was in that picture, she photobombed a family picture, they gave her the printed version because they deleted the original and didn't want her in it, she cut the family out and wrote on the back, 'Don't go to the subway.'"
Instead, you could reword it into multiple different sentences to make the idea complete. I would recommend you turn this section into: "The only thing they solved was why Hope was in that picture. She photobombed a family picture and they gave her the printed version because they deleted the original one and didn't want her in it. She cut the family out and wrote on the back, 'Don't go to the subway.'"
I hope this helps you! Have a lovely day!
- Mal
Answer:
2nd option but you might want to check again
Answer:
Below are six strategies on how the government can ensure the dignity of victims of domestic violence.
Explanation:
- The children should be protected from any victimization whenever such a scenario arises .
- Victims are allowed to acquire a domestic abuse protection order as first as possible to enable service of justice .
- The victims order is perused upon breaching of the domestic abuse protection order.
- Low volume of disclosure of information about the victim is upheld.
- The victim is protected against futher harm in the case of sere damage and fatalities.
- The affenders should be aprehended as soon as possible.
