Seems great. Try to keep it simple for people to understand.
Answer:
First: Check for spelling or grammar mistake, and fix those. Second, check the formatting and structure, you could have the most perfectly grammatically correct piece of writing, ruined by the fact that nothing is in order. Thirdly, look at words and phrases to make sure you are not using any ambiguous language.
You didn't provide the sentences, however, they probably contain things like vivid descriptions of things or their smells or how they feel when you touch them. If they are extremely realistic, then they are really vivid and this should be your correct sentence.
