Here take a look at this site, it will help you:
http://www.gradesaver.com/frankenstein/study-guide/summary-chapters-5-8
Answer:
The problem with this quotation is the use of the verb "say" and the displacement of the subject "Amanda Brier."
Explanation:
In formal and academic writing, some verbs like "say" to report indirect speech are not considered correct since they do not fit in the context. A better option can be the use of the verb "state" or "express." Besides, it is better to follow the subject, verb, complement structure. Thus, a better option could be the following one:
Amanda Brier, director of the Commission for Just Punishments, states that "The death penalty is a cruel and unusual form of punishment for crime."
I do not no much about him, but it is probably inspired by his father because his father was a bit rough when I read checkhovs background