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valina [46]
2 years ago
14

Hi! I just wrote an SSAT Essay in 25 minutes, will you review it for me and give advice?

English
1 answer:
Alja [10]2 years ago
7 0

Answer:

First off, you are an excellent writer! Below are my suggestions and changes made to your essay. I have rephrased your sentences and points.

Please Note: I am in middle school so my corrections may not be the best.

Happy learning!

--Applepi101

-------------------------

Community Service: Making it Voluntary

Written by: _________

Growing up, my parents have taught my brother and I to give back to the community we grew up in. This was seen as a "wholesome act" or "doing good" for the area around us, but forcing adolescents to perform these noble services is not at all seen as something worthwhile, but a burden and a chore in order for kids to pass high school. I believe that students should not be required to complete 60 hours of community service, but instead do it out of their heart, instead of making it a policy.

People frequently compare community service as a punishment, as it is given to small-time offenders as an alternative to extended jail time, but with familial responsibilities and classwork, community service is a way for students to hassle at the last minute while trying to find ways to get their diploma. Some high schools give awards and certificates to those who have committed to a cause for helping the community, but now we have the issue of competition to see who can get the most community and volunteer hours.

Instead of being done for the goodness of others, it's being done for selfish reasons, or reasons targeted toward the one person who is trying to get the award. This completely changes the meaning of "community" service hours and contradicts the reasons high schools want to require community service or volunteer hours. This is usually meant to bring students together, give people an opportunity to gain social skills and find their interests in specific career fields, and we should make this voluntary, because we are now giving schools the power to determine what exactly community service is.

This brings me to my final point of what exactly is considered community service. Is babysitting a sibling or friend's child considered community service if that student may be interested in the childcare field? Community service should have no limitations of what is considered a good deed and therefore should not be mandatory.

To summarize my statement, community service should be voluntary for these points - while most students are willing to give back to their community, they simply do not have the time or ability to do so(familial responsibilities), no interest, and finally, simply doing this out of the kindness in your heart.

-------------------------

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PLZ HELP ME can someone write me one I rlly need it done by today before 11:50pm so plz helpp
matrenka [14]

Answer:

“The Premature Burial” (1844), a horror story written by the master of horror, Edgar Allan Poe, tells the story of a man who is so obsessed with being buried alive that he constructs an elaborate plan to prevent it from happening. Being buried alive was a common fear at that time, and this story played right into public interest.

As the story begins, the narrator mentions a few disasters in history and wonders about the shadowy boundary between death and life. He notes that there are instances in which a person may appear to be dead, but is not. If a person is buried under the illusion that he or she is dead, that person may wake later to find escape impossible.

From here, he outlines several situations in which this had occurred. In one, a congressman’s wife was buried after an illness. Three days later, the tomb was opened to place another body inside, and they found her hanging by the door. In another, a woman was buried by her husband. Another man who was in love with her dug her up to get a lock of her hair, and her eyes opened. In another, a soldier fell off his horse and seemed to die. When they buried him, someone felt the ground move. They dug him up and tried to revive him, but he died when they shocked him with a galvanized battery.

 

After these examples, the author expresses his fear of being buried alive. He claims that these occurrences frequently happen without anyone knowing what is happening or how often they happen. The narrator suffers from a strange illness much like death, catalepsy, in which he falls into a deathlike trance. He is afraid that someday someone will mistake this trance for death, because as his disease progresses, the trance becomes longer. In fact, the last time he fell into this trance, it was for a few weeks.

He cannot imagine what would have happened if one of his family or friends had found him in that condition. He obsesses about death and about what might happen if he were buried alive. To fight off these fears, he tries to avoid falling asleep, but his eyes close of their own will on occasion. Once when this happens, a ghastly figure visits him, and we presume it is death.

This inner fear haunts the narrator so much that he is afraid to leave his house. He renovates his family vault so that it can open from the inside and includes adequate ventilation. He makes a spring loaded cover for his coffin, and attaches a bell to the top of the tomb that can be rung by a long rope that rests inside.

Despite all this, the narrator wakes up one day in total darkness. He believes he has been buried alive as he cannot see and there is a weight on his chest. A heavy wooden cover sits six inches from his face, and his jaw appears to have been tied up as is customary to do with the dead. He cannot find the rope to ring the bell, and he realizes that he must have fallen into a trance somewhere away from home.

He is finally able to cry out and is answered. The men who find him remind him that while on a hunting trip, he sought shelter from the rain in a small boat and he is still there. The handkerchief was around his face because he did not have a night cap and the wood was merely the boat. He had not fallen into a trance at all but rather had slept a full night.

This experience changes the narrator’s entire way of thinking. It makes him realize that it is useless to live in fear and that he cannot allow such thoughts to drive his existence. His catalepsy disappears, leading him to believe that it was all a projection of his paranoia.

At the end of the story, the narrator reminds us that the human mind can be dark, and unexplored fears will consume us. We must not dwell on such things for fear of driving ourselves mad. Although human experience is dark, we have to learn to put these concerns away to live before death comes to take us.

The general subject matter of being buried alive was something that captured the audience of that time’s fears and attention. Poe plays on this fear by reminding them first that we do not understand everything there is to know about illness, and that there have been times when people have been buried alive. This would have sparked a deep fear in the audience who was only just beginning to understand the science of life and death.

The true fear of the story is that of obsession and the way our fears take control of our mind and behavior. We find out at the end of the story that his catalepsy was likely caused by the growing fear and paranoia he had at the thought of being buried alive. His mind was sabotaging him.

The story is one of horror at the circumstances, but also horror at the darkness of the human mind. It took the narrator feeling as if his worst fear had come true to realize that it was all in his mind and that while the human experience is a dark one, it should not prevent us from living for what little time we have.

Explanation:

7 0
2 years ago
why does the author, Aimee Mullins, have difficulties walking across the marble floor of the library?
gogolik [260]

Answer:

Aimee Mullins has difficulty walking across the floor because she is walking on five-inch heels but doesn't have any ankles due to her legs being amputated at an early age.

Explanation:

hope this helps <3

6 0
3 years ago
Who is frederick douglass and what did he do?
olga_2 [115]
He was a promintent American abolitionist,author an orator.
7 0
3 years ago
Read the following passage and answer the question.
Furkat [3]

hubris

Explanation:

meaning excessive pride and self-confidence

3 0
2 years ago
What do many prefixes and suffixes have in common? *
Arlecino [84]

Answer:

They are derived from Greek and Latin words

Explanation:

it makes more sense than the other ones

6 0
2 years ago
Read 2 more answers
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