Read the excerpt from “The Scarlet Ibis.” The lightning was near now, and from fear he walked so close behind me he kept steppin
g on my heels. The faster I walked, the faster he walked, so I began to run. The rain was coming, roaring through the pines, and then, like a bursting Roman candle, a gum tree ahead of us was shattered by a bolt of lightning. When the deafening peal of thunder had died, and in the moment before the rain arrived, I heard Doodle, who had fallen behind, cry out, “Brother, Brother, don’t leave me! Don’t leave me!” The imagery in this excerpt most reflects the sense of sight to emphasize the fear that Doodle was feeling. the sense of sight to emphasize how difficult it was for the boys to see. the sense of sound to emphasize the frustration of the narrator. the sense of sound to emphasize the intense volume of the storm.
The imagery in this excerpt most reflects the sense of sound to emphasize the intense volume of the storm. The author does this by using phrases such as "roaring through the pines", "deafening peel of thunder", etc. This amplification of the storm is effective, because it intensifies the moment and brings the reader into the narrator's fear.
I think you could make some grammatical corrections so it flows together better, however! The majority of it is a really long run-on sentence and it's hard to tell apart dialogue from text because of the lack of quotation marks, but I think the writing is great! Your use of diction is really good.
