Will someone give me an opinion on this essay?

English

2 answers:

OverLord2011 [107]2 years ago

5 0

Answer:

I have a couple of suggestions...

You honestly don't have to use the edits I made because t's already good.

the bolded parts are stuff I changed. Also, you could run it through Grammarly for grammatical errors

Explanation:

The Raider Brigade has always been a home for me. Even before High School, I always had a home in the large family that is the Raider Brigade. Today, with half of the high school behind me, I want to give that same feeling to anyone who enters the bandroom. That is why I am trying out for Section Leader. Ever since I was a child, I was enchanted by the movements and music during the halftime shows of football games. I now realize the incredible dedication, hard work, and focus that goes into every second of the show. When I began my first marching season, I struggled with the footwork and maneuvering, yet I was determined to recreate it perfectly, to give others the feeling I had when I was a child. Consequently, I went to work, spending hours trying to find any trick or system to make my marching as close to perfection as possible. Using the experience from hours of practice I have, I can quickly and effectively help my fellow band members with many common problems and mistakes. If anyone were to need help with more difficult problems, I can work with them to help the marching band sound even greater. Overall, I want to be a section leader, not only to help the current band members but also for the audience in the stands. I want the band to capture the hearts of the audience, and hopefully inspire them to join band.

Salsk061 [2.6K]2 years ago

4 0

It is very elaborate and the grammar is ok but your good!

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1.8 ("he is pinned down...passing by"). 1.7.1 How do the footsteps pin the boy down? 1.7.2 What does "footsteps passing by" sugg

ludmilkaskok [199]

The given lines: ("he is pinned down...passing by" ) show that a person is being oppressed and there is a nearby passerby that could intervene and rescue him.

How do the footsteps pin the boy down?

The narrator does not explicitly state that the footsteps pin the boy and based on the incomplete narration, one can infer that there is a person pinning the boy down and nearby footsteps mean that there are people walking in the nearby place or the vicinity, or neighborhood.

Also, the line "footsteps passing by" suggests that there are people walking in the nearby place or the vicinity, or neighborhood.

<h3>What is a Narration?</h3>

This refers to the use of a narrator to tell a story through the use of a sequence of events to advance a plot.

Hence, we can see that based on the given lines: ("he is pinned down...passing by" ) show that a person is being oppressed and there is a nearby passerby that could intervene and rescue him.