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jok3333 [9.3K]
3 years ago
13

Hi people of the internet, I want your opinion on a thing I wrote. See I needed to write endings for something and I want to kno

w if it is good enough to turn in. I hope you like them. :)
1. ...Her right arm lay on the cushioned parapet before her. She raised her hand, and made a slight, quick movement toward the right. No one but her lover saw her. Every eye but his was fixed on the man in the arena.

He turned, and with a firm and rapid step he walked across the empty space. Every heart stopped beating, every breath was held, every eye was fixed immovably upon that man. Without the slightest hesitation, he went to the door on the right, and opened it.

Behind it, to the surprise of the youth, was a small wooden platform on a pole. The fine lady high in the air on the platform, with the tiger circling it, trying to find a way up to her.

He was very confused. Was this new? He assumed he had to try and save her. Why did his lover direct him to this door? Unless the other door held a worse fate. He knew he did not have much time, the tiger had not noticed him yet. How was he going to get up to her? Then he saw a plank of wood in the corner of the dungeon, just long enough to reach her. But to get to the plank he would have to pass the tiger, which was sure to notice him.

There was no other way, he had to run for it to the plank. He bilt up all of the courage he had, and sprinted for the piece of wood. The tiger had spotted the youth as he predicted but he did not look back. He got to the wood plank and grabbed it. Just then he heard the tiger feet behind him. With one swift movement he turned and hit the tiger full in the face with the piece of wood. With the tiger temporarily dazed he ran for the beautiful lady on the platform, set the plank up, grabbed her hand, and ran as fast as he can for the door out of the dungeon and to fresh air.

The tiger, now recovered, was right behind them. The youth new the tiger would cach them soon, but they were so close. The door was right in front of them. The youth and the lady both jumped out of the dungeon and closed the door hard on the tiger. They were met with great applause. The youth looked up at his lover, and smiled, and she smiled back.

2. ​...Her right arm lay on the cushioned parapet before her. She raised her hand, and made a slight, quick movement toward the right. Her father, the king however, saw this slight movement of his daughter's hand. He could not believe that she could love such a man. This youth knew quite well that he was not at no circumstances allowed to be with his daughter.

The more the king thought about it, the more angrier he became. The youth was halfway to the door when he shouted out;

¨Wait!”

Everybody, pulse, his daughter looks at his majesty.

The king continued; ¨ I think, for the crime of loving my daughter, which he fully knew he was not permitted to do. He is not allowed to have a trial of chance.

The youth was standing in the arena, obviously not knowing where the king was taking this. The king now addressed the guards at the sides of the arena.

´´Gards! Open the left door, and let justice be served.´´
English
1 answer:
motikmotik3 years ago
7 0

Answer:

It’s really good!

Explanation:

I didn’t notice any spelling mistakes other than in the last line: “Gards” should be “Guards“. Your pacing was very nice, and the story was incredibly interesting. I think it’s definitely good enough to be turned in.

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