It would be more appropriate for specific sensory details, if necessary in an essay, to be added only at the draft revision stage, as it would be easier for the author to perceive the need for these details and in which part of the essay they would fit better. The draft, however, serves for the entire structure of the essay to be established, as a raw material, which will be polished and modified in the abstract.
Explanation: The subject or who is performing the action is not clear and in an active sentence, there is importance placed on the person who is performing the action.
