Question

Prompt Read this student’s description: It was raining hard as Maria walked down the street. She felt cold and wet and was worried about being late. This description tells readers about the setting and character, but doesn’t help readers picture the scene. Strong writing shows readers what is happening through vivid description. Write a 3–5 sentence version of this rainy scene, but include descriptive language to help readers feel like they’re actually there. Try adding sensory details (what the character sees, hears, tastes, smells, or feels) and more specific verbs (like “strode” instead of “walked”) to show readers the scene. Bonus challenge: Now, challenge yourself to include even more detail in your description. Try to revise at least two words or phrases to make the scene more vivid for readers.

Answer 1

Answer:

raining hard = raining cats and dogs

walked= strolled

felt cold and wet = could feel the rain droplets as sharp glass pieces hitting her chilled face and numb hands even in the biting cold

worried about being late=what killed her inside was being late at that peculiar time.

Explanation:

It was raining hard as Maria walked down the street. She felt cold and wet and was worried about being late.

It was raining cats and dogs as Maria strolled down the street. She could feel the rain droplets as sharp glass pieces hitting her chilled face and numb hands even in the biting cold but what killed her inside was being late at that peculiar time.

The changed sentence has the same meaning as the original sentence but depicts more feelings of the girl both on the outside and the inside.