Question

It's cringe read if you want and give me ur opinion

Answer 1

Answer:

I think it is good. However, I think it would be better if you had explained the description of Alice and Edgar before you went into the part with "Alice stared at Edgar with warm but concerned eyes. He glanced back at her and quietly asked,  "What's wrong, Mama?".

I thought this because it went from William to Alice/Edgar which was kind of a confusing jump (I thought Alice was the wife). Overall, it was really good.

Answer 2

It's pretty good, but i'm confused because the first paragraph feels like a different story. The child went from being injured to being okay? It's kind of jumping all over the place, and it's difficult to identify different characters. Other than that it's a great story.