Question

Please help me on this and follow the extrucation so I can get an A due in class now ​

Answer 1

I sigh in defeat as I try to twist the door handle one more time in vain.
“This really sucks.” I think as my stomach starts to growl. Looking up at the class clock I notice it is already 6:30. Way past the time I would have gotten home from the bus.
“Well. I might as well get comfy.” I say out loud to myself in the empty class room. Sitting on the teachers desk I start to wonder.. What if Ms. Will has snacks in here drawers? As I am looking to see, I hear the doorknob rattle, then open. I look up to see a police officer and my mom with tears in her eyes. She always was the one for the water works.

Answer 2

Don’t use the personal pronoun ‘I’ so much or it begins to feel clunky. Also add in a few English techniques like metaphors, hyperboles and personification because English teachers love that. Otherwise, good job!