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klasskru [66]
3 years ago
14

PLEASE HELP THIS IS DUE RIGHT NOW

English
2 answers:
frosja888 [35]3 years ago
5 0

Answer:

ok ill try

Explanation:

this paragraph lacks description and it consists of choppy incomplete sentences. to improve it the author could've stated their  claim and asserted reasons as to why camping is a good activity. they could give credible evidence, for example: "camping is a good activity, because it helps you problem solve and interact with your family. an article states that 87 percent of people who go camping have had a good experience with their family." the paragraph also doesn't have a proper introduction or conclusion.

**also i couldnt find any real evidence so that was made up, pls dont actually use that, it was an example :D

pogonyaev3 years ago
4 0
Answer
this paragraph lacks details about the topic. instead of having 3-7 word sentences use 10-20 to make your paragraphs more interesting and appealing. describe more about the topic instead of saying the basics

hope this helps and have a wonderful day :)
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