this paragraph lacks description and it consists of choppy incomplete sentences. to improve it the author could've stated their claim and asserted reasons as to why camping is a good activity. they could give credible evidence, for example: "camping is a good activity, because it helps you problem solve and interact with your family. an article states that 87 percent of people who go camping have had a good experience with their family." the paragraph also doesn't have a proper introduction or conclusion.
**also i couldnt find any real evidence so that was made up, pls dont actually use that, it was an example :D
Answer this paragraph lacks details about the topic. instead of having 3-7 word sentences use 10-20 to make your paragraphs more interesting and appealing. describe more about the topic instead of saying the basics
Snowball reads books on farming and develops schemes that will increase efficiency on the farm. He's a powerful talker and often sways the animals in his favor during meetings.
