this paragraph lacks description and it consists of choppy incomplete sentences. to improve it the author could've stated their claim and asserted reasons as to why camping is a good activity. they could give credible evidence, for example: "camping is a good activity, because it helps you problem solve and interact with your family. an article states that 87 percent of people who go camping have had a good experience with their family." the paragraph also doesn't have a proper introduction or conclusion.
**also i couldnt find any real evidence so that was made up, pls dont actually use that, it was an example :D
Answer this paragraph lacks details about the topic. instead of having 3-7 word sentences use 10-20 to make your paragraphs more interesting and appealing. describe more about the topic instead of saying the basics
