That's very depressing, but it's really good. I'd add to the end, " I became unconcious but suddenly I woke up to the sight of my sister splashing water in my face. I was so mad at her and let my anger out on her. She quickly saddened so I apologized for my impulsive reaction. Now I think, "At least it wasn't real"
If I had to add something that would be it, mainly because when I write I dont like being that depressing. Hope you like it
