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Helga [31]
3 years ago
8

Help me I have to write a story about a basement that the character found and I need it for tomorrow..

English
1 answer:
sveta [45]3 years ago
5 0

Answer:

you dont need to use this but i saw a storytime of this.

A man names jack got married to a woman names candy. Candy left the house one day to go get dinner for Jack and herself. Candy told jack not to go to the guest bathroom ever. That day he figured she would be gone for 30 minutes or so due to 5 ock traffic. He decided to go behide her back and go into the bathroom, there it was. A trapdoor leading to a basement that he never new about. He went down to look around. It was significantly dark as he felt around for a light switch, he turned on the light. HE had just discovered Candy was a serial murder. Right when he saw the bodies, candy pulled up to the home. He turned off the light and ran up stairs. she went down to the basement to find out he had been down there. She knows how? the lightbulb was still warm.

Explanation:

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I'm doing an essay on theme for the two book, the first line is my theme, can someone tell me if it make sense and if there's an
USPshnik [31]
Hello!!

Your first paragraph is clear and well-worded. However, there are some punctuation mistakes that should be fixed (run-ons, missing commas or periods, etc.)

The first sentence is a bit of a run-on and can be changed into two sentences:
"Being exposed to necessary labor can be very detrimental and affect you in many different ways. Some books that are related to this topic are "Iqbal" by Francesco D'Amamo and "Buried Onions" by Gary Soto." (For example)

Your second sentence can also be slightly modified to make more sense to your reader.
For example: For those who aren't informed on the book Iqbal: (continue your explanation on the topic of the book).

In the next sentence, it would be clearer to write "who are forced to work..." after the characters' names rather than "they're forced to work..."

You should add a comma after "unlike the other labor workers" to add a necessary pause in the sentence. You can also end the sentence sooner, perhaps putting a period after "to tell others." You can then begin a new sentence to finish your point: "Unfortunately, he was later despised after this." (For example.)

You could additionally add a comma after the name "Eddie". In addition, you could replace the word "where" with "when" later in the same sentence.

Lastly, you should add a period after "to try to live on his own" and begin the next part as a new sentence.

What I have listed are simply some small things that I have noticed. Otherwise, your writing is clear and well-developed! You have written it so that the reader can easily follow your writing.
I hope these tips have helped you! Feel free to comment or PM me if you have any additional questions! Have a great day!
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