In general you want to be a bit more concise in forming a thesis statement. Usually you should shoot for between 1 and 2 sentences summarizing your argument in a concise way so that it is easily understandable to the reader. I would take what you have written and look for your main argument and try and put that in 1 to 2 sentences.
The answer is Telemachus I think
Answer:
we need to see the sentences in order to answer the question
Explanation:
When you write about yourself
The Mongols spread the use of gunpowder.The Mongols controlled both China and Russia.<span>Pax Mongolica encouraged trade along the Silk Road. I would say these are the main effects of the Mongol incursion into Europe and Asia plus the inadvertent introduction of the bubonic plague of infected rats from Asia to Europe.</span>
