Question

This is a story I wrote please help make any corrections you think are necessary I'm not sure what else to add to this story so give me ideas? Also this is only the first chapter. “Vampires are evil mythological beings who roam the world at night searching for people whose blood they feed upon” I said to myself before my mom rudely walked into my room without knocking. I quickly close my laptop as though I just got caught watching p 0_ rñ. “What are you looking at?” my mom asked “uhh...nothing” I responded nervously “come on show me” she demanded.. So I opened my laptop and showed her. “Vampires? You shouldn’t be reading up on that kind of stuff. It’s just filling your head with lies” my mom said, “what if it’s real mom. What if vampires are real” I said “Olivia, do you really believe this stuff?” she asked “I don’t know mom. The internet makes vampires out to be these bloodsucking monsters but what if vampires are just like us humans? What if they walk among us like normal people? It says here that vampires hunt at night because sunlight weakens them but what if they had rings or something to help them walk in the sunlight like in the vampire diaries?” I said. “The vampire diaries is just a show none of it was real Olive” she sighed and left. Vampires could totally be real I mean.. How did they come up with the idea of vampires anyway? They had to have seen one back in the day right? I look back at my laptop and continue doing research on vampires for hours on end. I live in Buffy Springs. It's a very..very small town everybody knows everybody. So even if vampires were real or...are real they certainly wouldn’t be living in Buffy Springs. I'm sure I would know if there were vampires hanging out in Buffy springs. I look at the clock in the bottom right of my laptop and realize it’s 3:24 a.m. Shoot!
THERES MORE TO THIS I WILL POST IT AS A QUESTION FOR WHOEVER WANTS TO CORRECT IT <33​

Answer 1

Answer:

Um it is perfect but it will be even more perfect if you add some more twists and moments in this stories. I think it will be able to attract ur viewers. But this type of stories are better even without twists.

I don't know about others but this looks like it is going to be intresting for me.

Please post more

(Thank you) :-)