Question

How can I make this paragraph better?

Answer 1

Answer:

Hey! If the paragraph is not asking you a question, yet just a general one, eliminate uses of i and you. It makes it seem informal. Yet use, "People think" or "readers believe." Also, close out your paragraph with a transition word, such as "Therefore..... (conclusion sentence.)

If it is asking what do you think of when you see leadership, the paragraph is great, but still use transition words or even real life examples in the world, such as U.S. Presidents and their leadership, principals in your school, etc.

Hope this helps! :)

Explanation: