The most important reason to ban cell phones from the classroom is that students who are texting or playing games on their phone
s are not engaged in what they are there to do in the first place. Classrooms are for learning. Many of my friends play on their phones most of the time the teacher is talking and miss the information they should be getting in class. What would be the BEST improvement to this student's paragraph?
Including statistics of studies done on the effects cell phones have on students in the classroom who serve for a stronger argument. I'd be mindful of fixing the punctuation and grammatical errors within the paragraph as well.
An example of this could be shown in an email to the city’s head of the local electric power plant to persuade them to place more streetlights on a specific side of town.