Question

Jackie Robinson is the greatest athlete America has ever known of. An athlete has to be talented if he wants to be a legend, and many awards were won by Robinson for his talent. Not only did he break the color barrier in baseball, he was also an incredible diplomat, speaker and he advocated for civil rights. Rewrite the student passage using the usage rules discussed in this lesson.

Answer 1

Jackie Robinson is the greatest athlete America has ever known. An athlete has to be talented if he or she wants to be a legend, and Robinson won many awards for his talent. Not only did he break the color barrier in baseball, he was also an incredible diplomat, speaker, and advocate for civil rights.

Answer 2

Answer for the revision

Explanation: I removed the dangling preposition.

I removed the gendered pronoun.

I made the listed items parallel.

I added the Oxford comma.

I added sentence variety.

I changed the passive voice to active voice.