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neonofarm [45]
4 years ago
9

Read the two paragraphs representing a first draft and a revision of a narrative about making a difficult choice.First Draft: I

will never forget the day I got my dog at the animal shelter. I felt terrible for the dogs and cats behind the glass. I saw Bandit right away. He was a small brown and black terrier mix who came right to me as the shelter employee opened the door to his cage.Revision: I will never forget the day I rescued my dog from the animal shelter. My heart broke for the dogs and cats behind the glass. I spotted Bandit right away. He was a small brown and black terrier mix who bounded into my arms as the shelter volunteer released him from his cage.What types of descriptive language strengthen the revision?
English
2 answers:
Musya8 [376]4 years ago
8 0

Answer:

strong verbs and hyperbole

Explanation:

this was the answer on edginity.

Anna11 [10]4 years ago
5 0

Answer:

Active voice and better descriptive verbs were used to strengthen the descriptive language.

Explanation:

Passive voice, using helping verbs, was used in the first draft.  By using active voice (action verbs) in a more descriptive manner, the revision was much more moving, descriptive, appealing, and interesting.  For example, "felt terrible" was changed to "heart broke", and "saw" was changed to "spotted".

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